Huge arenas, thousands of boozed-up fans in fancy dress, and more singing than an Irish Bar during happy hour – welcome to the global phenomenon that is professional darts.
The players themselves only add to the carnival. Each one struts on stage to their own blaring theme tune, with nicknames plastered on the screen like gladiators entering the Colosseum … if gladiators wore polyester shirts and carried tiny tungsten missiles as weapons.
Let’s have a look at some of these nicknames – and give you our light hearted, but highly appreciative thoughts.
Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor
We start with the man many call the GOAT. Not the farm animal – though imagine Phil grazing in a field – but the acronym: greatest of all time. With 16 world titles, it’s hard to argue. His nickname is simple but effective: Phil rhymes with feel, which links to the phrase Feel the Power. Job done. No over thinking on this one.
Adrian ‘Jackpot’ Lewis
Adrian once won a jackpot on a slot machine in America while underage. Unfortunately, US. law meant he couldn’t actually collect it. They were happy enough to take his money, of course. A classic case of life saying: Congrats, but no cash for you. Still, he made good use of the name – and won a couple of World titles.
Rob ‘Voltage’ Cross
Another common nickname route: what did you used to do for a living? Rob was an electrician, hence Voltage. Ryan Meikle followed the same logic and went with The Barber. Imagine the panic if your plumber ever took up darts: And on stage tonight – Dave Leaky Pipes Johnson
ROB CROSS: Career highlights, key facts and things to know
Danny ‘Mr Freeze’ Noppert
A nod to his Friesian roots – Fries sounds a bit like Freeze. Clever enough. He also gets called Noppie sometimes, which is less wordplay and more couldn’t be bothered.
Ryan ‘Heavy Metal’ Searle
The man with darts so heavy they could be used as medieval weapons. Couple that with his long hair and love of metal music, and it’s the perfect fit. You look at Ryan and instantly think: That bloke definitely owns a drum kit his neighbours hate.
Daryl ‘Superchin’ Gurney
Self-explanatory. His old manager Matt Ward gifted him the nickname based on his… well, chin. Not the sort of thing you pick yourself, but here we are. Imagine being forever introduced to arenas full of people by your biggest facial feature. Brutal.
Dirk van Duijvenbode – ‘Aubergenius’
Sky Sports commentator Dan Dawson came up with this after discovering Dirk worked on an aubergine farm. Combine aubergine with genius and boom – Aubergenius. At this point, I think it deserves a spot in the Oxford Dictionary: noun: a darts player who makes you think of ratatouille.
Brendan ‘The History Maker’ Dolan
Back in 2011, Brendan became the first man to hit a televised nine-darter in the World Grand Prix – starting and finishing on a double. Huge achievement. Less exciting when you explain the nickname, though: he made history, so… The History Maker. Don’t say darts fans aren’t creative. If nicknames were a cow - Brendan would have milked the poor beast to death.
Mark ‘Frosty The Throwman’ Frost
Quite possibly the best of the lot. A genius rework of the cartoon character Frosty the Snowman. It’s so perfect it makes you angry you didn’t think of it first.
Tim ‘The Magnet’ Pusey
Australian, funny nickname, questionable darting CV. His mates probably thought they’d peaked with this one. A Pusey Magnet – you get it. If not, watch UK comedy, The Inbetweeners. Even if you do get it, still watch The Inbetweeners.
Now, for the other side of the coin – the that’ll do nicknames.
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Josh Rock – ‘Rocky’
Took his surname, added a Y. Done. It’s not Shakespeare, but then again, Shakespeare never threw a 180 - that we are aware of.
Nathan Aspinall – ‘The Asp’
Went the opposite route – chopped letters off instead. Still, it sounds vaguely threatening, which is half the battle.
Raymond van Barneveld – ‘Barney’
Another Y-merchant. Works nicely with his fanbase, The Barney Army, though. Plus, it’s far easier to chant Barney than Van Barneveld after a jug of lager.
Dave Chisnall – ‘Chizzy’
See surname, add a couple of z’s then a y. Next.
Damon Heta – ‘The Heat’
At least he used an anagram. Plus, it ties into his walk-on with a massive flame hat. Subtle it is not, but neither is Damon. In the Aussie’s defence, his local Perth baseball team is called Heat.
If you want to know why nicknames matter and just how intertwined they can become with a players identity Phill Taylor's final PDC Walk on might give you an idea:
Phil 'The Power' Taylor's FINAL Walk-On
There are dozens more, from the clever to the pub brainstorm at midnight variety. But for now, that’s enough. So – which is your favourite? And more importantly – which ones make you think the players really could’ve tried harder?
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